'You are bold, Philip Morris,' the Surgeon G. said,
'For your lies have become less than white;
And since you incessantly make smokers dead -
Do you think that, at your age, it is right?'

'In my youth,' Philip Morris replied to S.G.,
'I knew smoking might damage the lungs;
But, now I am perfectly sure that it will,
and must also cause cancer on tongues.'

'You are bold,' said S.G., 'As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly rich;
Yet you turned more profits than ever before -
Pray what is the reason you pitch?'

'In my youth,' said P.M., as he shook his grey locks,
'I kept all my nerves very steady
By smoking these Marlboros - three dollars a pack -
Allow me to sell you a ready?'

'You are bold,' said S.G.,'and the laws far too weak
For anything tougher than slaps;
You've deceived the world, from the West to the East -
Pray how did you escape all these raps?'

'In my youth,' said P.M.,'I took to the law,
And argued each case in the courts;
My financial strength, which I take from the poor,
Has outlasted most all of the torts.'

'You are bold,' said S.G.,'one would hardly suppose
That you are as cunning as ever;
Yet you bested the lawyers from all over the states -
What made you so awfully clever?'

'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
Said P.M.;'do not give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!'

...